On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
