dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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