My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
