I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
