Non-Jews are for practice
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
