I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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