So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
