Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
