It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We need a shit load of segways right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
