Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
