So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
