you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
