his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
