she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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