brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My liver just had a heart attack.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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