My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dignity is for republicans.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
They have beer where we have blood.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
