He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ttyl tear gas
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
