We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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