I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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