Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
