It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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