My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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