Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
