matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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