I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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