Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
