Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
