I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
