This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
