I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
