Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
