Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
