He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
