I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize