I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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