I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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