8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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