that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize