Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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