At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
