Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
