Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
