shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
