omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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