I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
