There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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