No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
