I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
