Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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