Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
