I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
