new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
