thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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