i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
