you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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