fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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