that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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