i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
