One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
